Welcome to WRITING HOSPITAL
DOCTOR DELAHOYDE (MD) WILL SEE YOU NOW
Unlike the medical sciences where, maybe if we murder a few more million mice in the next fifty years we’ll be closer to a cure for the common cold, Writing Hospital has been established actually to help you cure yourself of contagious compositional diseases, with no heavy costs, no nauseating side-effects — just, admittedly, a lot of paperwork.
Honors English 298 — Fall 2014
We’ll need to check ourselves into an appropriate clinic now, won’t we?:
- GENERAL PRACTICE
General advice about setting up manuscripts and following through on technical matters.
- THE THESIS WARD
Common symptoms of sick thesis statements and recommendations towards cures.
- D+ DIAGNOSIS
Explanation of letter grades assigned to college writing.
- PHRASAL DISORDERS
Thirty-plus of the most common diseases in circulation, gathered from a symposium of pre- and post-docs.
- THE 2B VIRUS
Avoiding reliance on passive voice and the sickliest of verbs in English.
- COSMETIC SURGERY
Cleaning up mechanics and technicalities.
- SPELL CHECK-UP
For tumors the scan may have missed, I’m sending you to a specialist: Dr. Paul Brians.
- RESEARCH AND DEVELOPMENT
Advice for a healthy project.
- LABOR AND DELIVERY
Too late to abort.
. . . there comes a time when you justgotta dance.
But nobody said you can’t pick good music.
(Doctor Johnny Fever)
This site last updated: 10 August 2014.
Dr. Michael Delahoyde, Clinical Professor, Department of English
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