Unlike the medical sciences where, maybe if we murder a few more million mice in the next fifty years we'll be closer to a cure for the common cold, Writing Hospital has been established actually to help you cure yourself of contagious compositional diseases, with no heavy costs, no nauseating side-effects -- just, admittedly, a lot of paperwork.
We'll need to check ourselves into an appropriate clinic now, won't we?
- GENERAL PRACTICE
General advice about setting up manuscripts and following through on technical matters.
- THE THESIS WARD
Common symptoms of sick thesis statements and recommendations towards cures.
- D+ DIAGNOSIS
Explanation of letter grades assigned to college writing.
- PHRASAL DISORDERS
Thirty-plus of the most common diseases in circulation, gathered from a symposium of pre- and post-docs.
- THE 2B VIRUS
Avoiding reliance on passive voice and the sickliest of verbs in English.
- COSMETIC SURGERY
Cleaning up mechanics and technicalities.
- SPELL CHECK-UP
For tumors the scan may have missed, I'm sending you to a specialist: Dr. Paul Brians.
- RESEARCH AND DEVELOPMENT
Advice for a healthy project.
- LABOR AND DELIVERY
Too late to abort.
But nobody said you can't pick good music.(Doctor Johnny Fever)