Michael Delahoyde, PhD

Professor of English

Amanda Harter: Essay

Cereal
Amanda Harter

Picture this: you’re sitting down for a bowlof Honey Nut Cheerios for breakfast and the box is almost empty,but with your feeble hopes, you still pour yourself a bowl. Imagineyour surprise when out comes a few Cheerios and then a nice bigpile of Cheerio dust. “@#$%,” you eloquently think toyourself. After all, you could make a nice big sandbox with allthe dust that just fell into your bowl. Once the mist clears andyou try to calm the dustiness with some milk, you just end upwith a disgusting mass of Honey Nut Clay. The box never said,”Honey Nut Cheerios AND Honey Nut Clay.” On the sidepanel the ingredients say “Vitamin C, Calcium, Riboflavin”but no DUST. The box does warn you that the contents may settleduring shipping, but it doesn’t say that they will dematerialize!I don’t know about you, but I don’t feel like paying $5 for abox of cereal when obviously you aren’t going to eat that powderedpart at the bottom. Maybe we should start a collection of allthe dust and there could be a recycling program for the uneatenpowdered portion of your cereal. Or maybe little filters in thebottom of the box so that you don’t have to try to pick your cerealout of the little sand dune inside of your bowl. That could bedangerous if you accidentally inhaled a spoonful of it. I suspectthat the presidents of General Mills and Kellogg’s and all ofthe other cereal companies are aware of this quality control problemand are doing nothing to change it. I bet they have perfect cerealin their cupboards at home. They probably sit at home and laughat us because they think we can’t do anything about it. But thesolution is to just find alternative breakfast foods. If we alldid it, there would be nothing left for them to do except cleanup that dust in their cereals. So until then I’m going to eatdoughnuts. But, you know, there’s that hole in the middle of doughnuts,what is that all about?


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